Over the years, I have learned that there are four little words that you can say that will make you a hero in the eyes of 99.9% of the population. They are: HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?
I love to hear these words. They are music to my ears. Extra credit if someone says: YOU ARE WASTING AWAY! EAT A SANDWICH! Trust me, the last time I heard this phrase I was wearing a Hypercolor t-shirt and doing the humpty dance. But a girl can dream!
While I am on the subject of weight loss (which is something that never leaves my conscience), I want to talk about almonds. Lately, I have read several articles extolling the virtues of the nut. In fact, researchers found that people eating a diet rich in almonds lost more weight than those on a high-carb diet with the same number of calories.
Armed with this knowledge, I recently purchased a vat of almonds at Target. I try to grab a handful in the morning and I also put a ziplock baggie full of the nuts in my car to combat those weak moments when I pass Taco Bell and have an uncontrollable urge for a chicken taco. However, it's just not cutting it. I'm sure almonds are a perfectly good diet solution for most people, but there's something you don't know about Tiddy.
I have an aversion to nuts. Not the nuts hidden between the legs of a gentleman, but the ones that grow on trees. It wasn't always this way. I used eat nuts like a squirrel--pistachios, walnuts, cashews...I didn't discriminate. However, that all changed with one trip to the Dairy Queen when I was in my early 20s. This is what went down:
A casual acquaintance asked me on a date for some ice cream. I initially said no. He was unbelievably annoying--not to mention heinous. However, he was persistent and wore me down. I remember it like it was yesterday. I ordered a Butterfinger Blizzard and he chose THE PEANUT BUSTER PARFAIT.
As I took the first bite of my dairy treat, he began to speak. Not only could I smell peanuts from across the table, chunks of the nut were flying into my face with every word he uttered. SO GROSS! I'm not sure I will ever get over it. I am not saying I am above stopping at DQ once in a while, but I can assure you I think twice about going to a baseball game!
Needless to say, I haven't gone near a nut since that fateful day. That's why it is so hard for me to embrace the almond diet. However, now that I know it might help me to shake a few lbs, I am going to try to choke down a few every now and then. I'll let you know how it goes!