I got a really great email from one of my old high school (and current day) chums D Dubs. It read:
Rewind twelve months. You were out having fun and a friend wanted to take a picture with you using their cool camera phone. It made you feel good because you thought that they liked you enough to want a photo keepsake of your moment together. But today when a friend says, "lets take a picture" it's more like, "will you 'up' my social standing on Facebook by being added to my mobile-uploads gallery?" When friends take our picture these days, are we being used?
PS...you are even hotter now than you were in high school (just kidding, he didn't write THAT part!)
I laughed at this email when it came in because it is so true. For example, Mister Ferguson and I went to the Southside with some friends on Saturday to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Eventually, the cameras came out and we all started staging photo ops. "Look at us! We're all wearing green shirts! The slutty Miller Lite girls just gave us shamrock Mardi Gras beads! We're 30 and still so crazy!"
Inevitably, after every photo was taken, I immediately checked it out and imagined what it was going to look like posted on my Facebook account later. Did my face look fat? Was my muffin top showing? What would I use for a caption?
You might read this and think I'm completely ridiculous. Don't judge me! You know you all do the same thing. Did you notice that nobody ever posts unflattering photos of themselves on Facebook? Whenever somebody tags me in a picture and I don't like the way I look, I untag that shit immediately. You never know what sort of ex-boyfriend or enemy is stalking your profile and it is always important to look your best.
Speaking of Facebook, my Aunt Ferguson started a group on the site called "Pearls on Wednesdays" that encourages its members to wear pearls every Wednesday no matter what. I joined the group even though I didn't own a strand and couldn't really participate. However, much to my delight, my dear Aunt sent me my very own pearls for Valentine's Day! I feel so grown up and lady-like. I have faithfully donned them every Wednesday since they arrived and I must say they really do class up an outfit. I would love it if all of my readers would join in and wear pearls on Wednesdays. You could start tomorrow!
In other news, I am 47% sure I saw a drug deal take place today. I was terrified and secretly thrilled at the same time. I'm pretty sure this gives me the street cred that I've always felt I deserve.
I'm going to upload some photos onto Facebook and lay my pearls out for tomorrow.
Download this: Allentown by Billy Joel (I really like to sing this in the car and substitute 'Morgantown' for 'Allentown'. It never gets old.)
Tiddy Ferguson says: The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.