Wednesday, January 28, 2009

No Quiero Taco Bell

I decided to have lunch at Taco Bell yesterday (by myself—so sad) and the drive-thru line was WAY too long so I bit the bullet and went in the restaurant. Usually I like to scarf down my tacos while driving with one hand and talking on my cell phone. I’m dangerous.

I figured I would be in and out in about ten minutes tops. I couldn’t have been more wrong. A very old man took my order at the counter and disappeared. I stood at the register and waited. After five minutes, I was really becoming impatient. How long does it take to put together a taco? I was ravenous and ready to jump behind the counter and pitch in when a 300 pound lady came to the front and asked if I had placed my order. I calmly replied that I had and was waiting for my food. She rolled her eyes at me and went into the back. I could hear her talking to her coworkers in the kitchen as she exclaimed, “She just standin’ there like a bump on a log waitin’ on her food, lookin’ all dumb!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I was in a real predicament. Part of me wanted to be pissed, but I was laughing so hard on the inside that I had to bite my lip. The lady came back up front and handed me a cup so I could busy myself getting a drink while the crew in the back continued to make fun of me and took their sweet ass time making my tacos.

At the drink island, something struck me as odd. There were ten drink flavor choices, yet only one of them was diet. I realize that the population generally favors regular soda, but you cannot tell me that only one-tenth drinks diet. I refuse to believe it. As it was, Diet Pepsi was my only option so I took it. Tiddy really prefers Diet Coke.

I returned to the counter and continued to “look all dumb” until another surly employee came to the front and tossed a bag of tacos at me without saying a word. I had originally planned on eating in the dining room, but I was so baffled by what had just taken place that I took my tacos and ran away from the border.

Once in my car, I wrestled with thoughts of what could have taken place in the back of the kitchen. The employees had obviously taken a dislike to me. What if there were pubes in my tacos? What if the old man with the grey hair shook some of his beard dandruff in my cheese? The thought was too much for me to bear. I simply could not eat the tacos.

I polished off my Diet Pepsi and rummaged around my car for some Tootsie Rolls. Not the most nutritious lunch, but better safe than sorry. Nobody wants to eat a pube taco.

Two more days until I leave for the Super Bowl! Tiddy is going to Tampa!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tiddy, being the very profound woman you obviously are, smart choice in trashing the pube tacos...I love tootsie rolls too!